Unfaithful
by K.C.Dragonfly
Summary: Catherine is hurting two people she loves and doesn't know what to do about it. Cath/Sara.
1. The Boyfriend and the Temptress

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, Neighbours or the song Unfaithful (Rihanna). Am just borrowing :) **

**It is inspired by the song, will be a Cara fic in the end I promise. Scarlett Bar and Steph are a tiny Neighbours crossover. This is my first fic, all reviews and criticism are welcome. Enjoy x**

**x x x x**

**Unfaithful**

_Story of my life, searching for the right  
But it keeps avoiding me  
Sorrow in my soul cause it seems that wrong  
Really loves my company_

_He's more than a man and this is more than love  
The reason that the sky is blue  
But clouds are rolling in because I'm gone again  
And to him I just can't be true_

_And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying_

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside_

_I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be a murderer_

_I feel it in the air as I'm doing my hair  
Preparing for another date  
A kiss up on my cheek, he's here reluctantly  
As if I'm gonna be out late_

_I say I won't be long just hanging with the girls  
A lie I didn't have to tell  
Because we both know where I'm about to go  
And we know it very well_

_Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying_

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside_

_I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be a murderer_

_Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun  
And put it to his head  
Get it over with  
I don't wanna do this  
Anymore, anymore_

_And I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
And every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside_

_And I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be a murderer  
A murderer, no no no  
Yeah_

**Chapter 1: The Boyfriend And The Temptress **

The blonde squealed as her boyfriend's legs hit the bed and they fell backwards, with her landing on top of him. She grinned and kissed him softly on the lips. "I have been waiting to do this all day. It feels like I haven't seen you in ages." Catherine mumbled as she nuzzled his neck.

"Well you've got me all to yourself now." Gil Grissom smiled, feeling himself getting hotter by the minute as his co-worker kissed along his neckline.

They had been secretly dating for seven weeks and though it was not the most exciting of relationships, Cath knew she was safe with Gil and she was getting regular sex, which was an improvement on recent months. Grissom meanwhile was surprised to find that he enjoyed spending this time with his best friend, even if he was still getting used to Catherine and her habits. Living around Lindsey was no problem, but he was not accustomed to having Cath mother him so much.

As she began unbuttoning his shirt and kissing his chest, she heard him groan and grinned, she loved what she did to him. "Hmm, enjoying yourself are we Dr Grissom?" She kissed his lips again and traced her tongue along his jaw, gently sucking on the skin. She knew she was driving him crazy. However her ministrations were interrupted by the trilling of her cell phone.

"Hello" She answered amid kissing Grissom's torso. "Sam? What do you want?" She sat up abruptly, causing Grissom to emit an irritated growl as he was now laid impatiently with his girlfriend sat atop his stomach, aching for her to carry on her previous actions.

"_Muggs, do I need a reason to want to talk to my daughter?"_

"Spit it out Sam I'm busy."

_"I want to talk to you, not over the phone, face to face. You know the Scarlett Bar?"_

"Now? Alright, I'll see you there in 20. But this had better be good." She hung up and offered Grissom an apologetic smile and a soft kiss. "Sorry babe but we'll have to continue this later." She clambered off him and got dressed, giving him another quick peck and a sorry before leaving. Grissom heaved a frustrated sigh as he watched the silhouette of his girlfriend disappear down the hall.

X x x

"Muggs, please don't go yet." The strawberry-blonde stalked through the tables towards the door, ignoring the pleas of the man behind her. He had promised her a proper explanation as to why he had never told her he was her father; but all he offered were excuses and they were not going to wash on her. She had endured 10 minutes and as far as she was concerned that was as much as she owed him.

As she wandered past the bar something caught her eye. Turning around she realised it wasn't her imagination, Sara Sidle was sat nursing a beer and chatting to the bartender, a blonde woman in her early thirties who had a biker-chick thing going on. As the blonde woman wandered off to serve someone Catherine sauntered over and leant down to whisper in Sara's ear: "Well, well. Fancy seeing you here." Sara nearly jumped out of her skin and turned in her seat, coming face to face with blue eyes.

"What are you doing here?" she asked startled

"I could ask you the same thing." She made herself comfortable next to the brunette and ordered a beer when the barmaid, Steph, came over. "So, what are you doing here?" she asked casually.

"Trying to forget." She raised an eyebrow at Sara's cryptic answer until realisation dawned on her.

"Oh yeah, I heard about your case, hit you pretty hard huh? Wanna talk about it?" She asked sympathetically.

"Nope." Came the blunt reply. "Why are you here?"

"Sam." It was Sara's turn to raise an eyebrow. "I don't wanna talk about it." Cath growled miserably. Sara smiled for the first time and raised her beer.

"To not talking about it."

X x x

They sat there for a while before Catherine suggested moving back to hers to share the bottle of wine lurking in her cupboard, completely forgetting about her boyfriend lying alone at his townhouse.

"No way!" Catherine shrieked, almost causing Sara to drop her wine glass. They had curled themselves up on the couch and were animatedly discussing their past feats. Sara, usually more closed off about herself, discovered that red wine apparently made her rather loose-tongued, something which Catherine was exploiting to no end.

"Way." Sara smirked at the blonde's baffled expression.

"Sara Sidle you shady lady! And here I assumed you were always such a good girl." Sara laughed and Cath couldn't help but notice how much more relaxed she seemed away from work. "So, little miss rebel: aside from skipping classes, sneaking vodka and dating the local bad boy, what else did you get up to at school?"

"Well, there was this one teacher…"


	2. The Problem

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing**

**Let me know whether you think I should continue x**

**x x x x**

**Chapter 2: The Problem**

Cath cracked open one eye wearily but the light forced it closed again. As she came to life the soft scent of apples and lime and a quiet mumble invaded her senses. Slowly lifting her head and opening her eyes she found herself staring into confused brown orbs. They looked at each other for a second before realisation landed like a tonne of bricks. Catherine sat up suddenly and pulled the covers around her. "Oh my God!" She moaned, burying her head in her hands. She could feel Sara shuffling next to her as the brunette tried to sit up and gather her bearings. Without giving her chance to do so Cath leant off the bed and threw Sara her pants and bra; the only clothes that were within her reach. "You have to leave." She ordered harshly. Normally she would have noticed the hurt that flashed across the brunette's eyes but she was too busy fighting off the hangover from hell. Still confused and not quite understanding the problem Sara got dressed quickly (deciding to just wear her tank top since her shirt could not be found) and headed downstairs while Catherine had donned a bathrobe and was anxiously pacing the lounge with a mug of coffee.

Sara was almost out of the door, when Catherine grabbed her wrists roughly and stepped towards her. "This never happened." There was no room for argument in the blonde's blazing blue eyes so the younger woman merely nodded and slipped outside silently. Finally alone, Cath pressed her back against the front door and slid to the floor, resting her head in her hand and letting the angry tears fall. What had she done?

X x x

When Catherine went into work that night she felt just as tense as when she first got up and the marching band in her head had yet to cease. Her plan was to avoid Sara and Grissom at all cost. Easier said than done, of course.

"Catherine." She froze and spun on her heel, a fake smile plastered to her face.

"Gil, what's up?" He looked around him then signalled for her to follow him into her office. When he closed the door she knew she was screwed.

"You didn't come back today?" He always looked so childlike it broke her heart.

"I know; I'm sorry. I was…busy. I had to get some things done." She had a feeling that he knew she was lying through her teeth but if he did he didn't call her on it.

"Oh. Ok then. Here," he handed her an assignment. "Take Sara with you." She was cursing him mentally but on the outside looked the epitome of calm.

"Um, Sara's not here yet. How about I take Nick, he's in the break room and I think he's a little restless." Grissom just shrugged so she took that as a yes. She was about to leave but first she moved around his desk to stand in front of him. "I'm sorry I didn't call, guess I got a little wrapped up in what I was doing." Well, that was the truth at least. "I'll make it up to you." She placed a chaste kiss on his lips before walking out, leaving him smiling to himself blissfully unaware of what had kept her so entertained.

X x x

Later that night Catherine entered the locker room and began throwing her things into her locker furiously. "Are you ok?" The quiet voice startled her and she spun around to see a very nervous Sara watching her from across the room curiously.

"No I'm not ok? Do I look ok?" She snapped. This time she did see the hurt in Sara's eyes and was immediately struck by a pang of guilt. "I'm just…stressed. It's been a long shift."

"Wanna talk about it?" Sara joked, trying to lighten the mood but Cath just scowled at her. "What's wrong Cath?"

"What's wrong? You, me and a bottle of red that's what's wrong!" She exclaimed in a hushed voice.

"Oh" was all she could say. "You know it doesn't have to be a big deal, I mean we were drunk. It doesn't have to be a problem, right?"

"The problem is I'm not gay. I don't like you Sara and it meant absolutely nothing. As far as I'm concerned, it never happened." With that the older woman slammed her locker shut and stormed out, leaving Sara feeling alone, used and at a loss for words.


	3. Can't Get You Out Of My Head

**Disclaimer: I own nothing :(**

**Hi all, thank you for the reviews! Since the next two chapters are short i thought I'd upload them both together and if you're lucky you may get another chapter by the end of the day. I promise Catherine will come to her senses soon. Enjoy x**

**P.S thought I should mention that this does not really follow any particular time but is around season 3/4. Also, Lindsey is only 7. Call it creative license. :)**

**x x x x**

**Chapter 3: Can't Get You Out Of My Head**

She had done everything in her power to avoid Sara for the best part of a month. When they had been paired together they worked professionally with very little talk. It seemed that Sara was following her orders, and hadn't brought up the forbidden subject. However, that's not to say it hadn't been playing on a certain blonde's mind. She didn't know why this was such an issue for her, like she had said, she was not gay. Sure as a dancer she had slept with a couple of other strippers, but who hadn't – in that line of work it was safer than sleeping with the customers – but that did not mean she was attracted to women. She liked guys! It was just one drunken night with a co-worker and it meant nothing, absolutely nothing at all. … So then why the hell couldn't she get that girl out of her mind?

Gil's hands roaming across her body as his mouth attacked her neck brought her out from her thoughts. Every time he touched her she couldn't help, despite her best efforts, comparing him to Sara. How his hands were rough and calloused, while Sara's were smooth. His touches were hurried and often flustered while Sara's had been soft, almost feather-soft, but deliberate and natural. Gil placed a hand on her hip, holding her down to the bed while he fumbled single-handedly with a condom. At least with Sara that hadn't been an issue either.

X x x

A few hours later Cath was laid with her head on Gil's shoulder. "Care to share?" His voice made her jump.

"How did you know I was awake?" she asked.

"I could hear the cogs in your head turning." He chuckled. "What's on your mind Cathy?" His only answer was a shrug. Like she was gonna tell him _that_. "You know, you've been very quiet lately, is everything ok?" she nodded. "Is Lindsey ok?"

"Yeah Gil, everything's fine. I'm just…I'm fine ok. Don't worry." She suspected that he knew she was hiding something but how was she supposed to tell him that she had slept with the girl he had had a thing for since day one. It was better for him to _believe_ she was hiding something than for him to _know_ she was a cheater. Right?


	4. A Release

**Chapter 4: A Release**

The case with the baby had really gotten to her tonight. She needed something to distract her, to take the edge off. Normally after a case like this she would go to Grissom but after spending all night at work with him she couldn't face going back to him now. Climbing into her car she screamed out of the parking lot and took a hard left. She drove without intention or direction yet somehow she knew when she was at her destination. Stopping the car she got out and ran up the steps, stopping outside apartment number 21. The door opened to reveal a very sleepy brunette donned in cute pyjama pants and a tank top. It was only then that Catherine fully realised how and why she had ended up here and she had a decision to make: turn around or…

X x x

Sara was stunned when Catherine launched herself into her arms and locked their lips together. The blonde forced her backwards into her own apartment and pulled off the tank top, throwing it across the apartment somewhere. Into the kiss she mumbled "bedroom" so Sara guided them into the room where Catherine promptly threw her on the bed and began ripping off her own clothes before removing what little Sara was wearing. The brunette let Catherine take control here, since it was quite apparent that she had no other option.

X x x

The cold air against her back brought Sara back from dreamland. She rolled over to find that her companion was already awake and nearly dressed. Catherine must have detected the movement behind her because she turned around to face Sara, who offered a weak smile and got nothing in return. Instead Cath went back to pulling on her boots and offered Sara only three words before leaving the poor girl more confused than ever. "This never happened."

**x x x x**

**I know they were short but let me know your thoughts. Next one is much longer and things will start to get better for our girls soon :) x**


	5. Jealousy

**Hey hey, since I have no job and nothing better to be doing right now, thought I'd update again. Feel free to let me know what you think :) Happy reading x**

**x x x x**

**Chapter 5: Jealousy**

Neither woman had spoken about that night 2 weeks earlier. Catherine had just about convinced herself that it meant nothing and was just a bad case messing with her head. Yet since that night Catherine had had this niggling feeling in the back of her mind. When she had first started dating Gil it had offered her a safe physical relationship with someone she could talk to about pretty much anything. She had thought that was all she had needed. But now there was this thought that kept bugging her, that maybe she needed something more and it seemed to become stronger ever time she was around a certain brunette.

Tonight was no different. Grissom was late with assignments so the boys were using the time to act like children with the playstation-thing they so loved and Catherine was pretending to read a magazine. But her attention was actually focused on something else, namely a certain Californian CSI who was helping herself to a mug of crime lab sludge they called coffee. Sofia Curtis sashayed in, heading over to the coffee pot and Catherine did not miss how her fingers grazed Sara's when she reached for the pot. Or how Sara smiled that cute little smile at her and mumbled something about Starbucks. Sofia chuckled and said something back, which Cath didn't hear but it made Sara laugh. A dark feeling started to grow inside Catherine and she felt herself feeling more and more wound up by Sofia's behaviour around Sara, and more specifically Sara's reactions. She was thankful when Grissom finally scuttled in with assignments.

X x x

"What the hell are you doing to me Sara?" she whispered into the silence. She had been paired with Sara and Nick that night and their constant flirty banter had been driving her insane so she decided to take refuge in the locker room for a while. Not that it had helped because the first thing she saw when she opened her locker was the dark green button up shirt that Sara had lost at Cath's house the first night they…well _that_ night. Cath had found it hanging off a lamp next to the stairs (she had to admit it was an impressive shot) and had brought it in that next shift with the intention of returning it to its rightful owner, yet had not quite managed to part with it. She had figured that, even though she knew that nothing could ever happen between her and Sara again, as long as she still had this she… who was she kidding she had no idea why she kept it! "What's happening to me?" She whined again, holding the garment to her face, breathing in the scent. Reluctantly she folded it back up and placed it carefully to the back of her locker, before closing the door and resting her head against it. That was when she felt someone's eyes on her.

X x x

Sara wandered into the locker room and froze when she saw the only other occupant leaning with their head against their locker. She contemplated sneaking back out before Cath noticed her presence but the blonde looked so depressed that she just couldn't do that. They had barely spoken since that night at Sara's and she wasn't entirely sure how to handle the blonde's erratic and confusing behaviour anymore. "Are you ok?"

Catherine nodded but then changed her mind and shook her head. Sara didn't speak but Catherine answered her question anyway. "I don't want to talk about it." Sara laughed quietly, remembering the last time they had shared these words.

"That should become our motto." Cath smiled a little at Sara's joke. She turned herself around so her back was against her locker to watch Sara rummaging through her own.

"You and Sofia seemed to be getting along earlier." She had to ask. Sara threw her a puzzled look. "In the break room. Laughing, joking around." She probed further. Sara seemed to catch on at this point.

"You wouldn't happen to be jealous now would you Ms Willows?" She asked seductively, taking a step closer. Catherine's eyes widened in shock. That wasn't quite what she had expected.

"No! It just looked as if something was going on. Is it?"

"And why would you be concerned who I do or do not date?" Sara smiled sweetly, challenging her. Would Cath admit she had been thinking about that…those nights, or would she lie? However neither of them could have predicted Catherine's reaction to the question. Their eyes locked for a second. A minute. Felt like an eternity. Suddenly Catherine leant forward and pressed her lips to Sara's. Pulling back she realised what she had done and panicked. Sara was so caught off guard she didn't know how to react to the kiss. So she did nothing. She stood frozen and could only watch as Catherine ran from the room.

X x x

What was the woman trying to do to her? Sara was still stood frozen to the spot, contemplating. She had been attracted to Catherine for a while now, but then again who hadn't – the woman was gorgeous! However she had no idea how to react around Catherine anymore. One minute she was like the ice queen and the next they were falling into bed together. It seemed as if Cath didn't know what she wanted right now, which meant that she could still want something from the brunette. With this in mind Sara decided to take a chance. Closing her locker she headed towards her colleague's office with the taste of Catherine's kiss still on her lips.

**x x x x**

**Next chapter I promise good things for our girls (not so much for Grissom though!) Please review :)**


	6. A Fling

**Thank you for your kind reviews! They make me smile :)**

**x x x x**

**Chapter 6: A Fling**

Catherine was a wreck. She was currently sat in her office with her head in her hands. What was she going to do? What was she doing? She was dating Grissom, her best friend. Yet she had now slept with Sara twice and just planted a kiss on her for no discernable reason. And, after spending days trying to figure out why Sara's friendly behaviour around…anyone really was pissing her off to no end, the brunette herself had just hit the nail on the head. She was jealous! She was jealous of Sara! Sara! Why? Of all the…

A quiet knock at the door interrupted her mental rant. "What?" She yelled irately. A distinctly nervous looking Sara poked her head around the door but when Catherine's features softened she felt safe to enter. She placed a cup of coffee down in front of the blonde.

"Thought you might need it. It's Greg's good stuff I promise" She smiled softly before clearing her throat. "I wanted to clear something up; there's nothing going on between Sofia and I. We were just being friendly earlier, and…"

"Sara, really it's ok. You don't have to explain yourself to me. You're right, it's not my business." She interrupted. Sara however wasn't done so took a deep breath and continued.

"Well I just didn't want you of all people to think there was something going." Cath threw her a confused glance so she continued. "I was wondering if you'd like to go out for a drink or something after work?" Cath looked up startled at her younger colleague's request. Had she really just asked her that? Did she want to? The rational part of her mind was telling her no, her body was screaming yes and for some reason her mouth was saying nothing. So instead she found herself nodding despite neon signs in her brain telling her this was a bad idea.

X x x

She knew she shouldn't be here. Grissom was sat in his office probably trying to figure out the evasive voicemail she had left him cancelling their date. She didn't know why but she felt drawn to the younger woman and she couldn't quite make it through the doors. After 10 minutes of pacing she finally built up the courage to go in.

At first she couldn't see Sara and thought she'd been stood up, but finally she spotted the brunette sat on one of the couches in a quiet corner. "Was starting to think you weren't coming." Sara smiled as she saw Catherine approach. Cath just smiled back weakly and ordered a drink.

They chatted for a while and Catherine slowly started to relax. It turned out that that one night hadn't been a fluke; the two women did actually enjoy each other's company. She knew she would regret saying it but evidently where Sara was concerned she was not in control and she couldn't stop the words from falling out, "You wanna come back to mine? I'm sure I've got another bottle of wine stashed away somewhere."

X x x

When she awoke a few hours later she knew that there was no pretending this time, she had to face what she had done. She had willingly, and reasonably soberly, cheated on her best friend with a girl 10 years younger than herself. Lying awake in bed she rationalised. It's just a fling she told herself. She just needed to get Sara out of her system, that's all. Then she could end it with the brunette and Gil would never have to know.

She turned to glance at her sleeping partner and couldn't help a small smile at how cute she looked. Sara must have sensed Catherine's eyes on her because she shuffled a little before slowly cracking open two sleepy brown eyes. The older woman smiled softly, to which Sara replied by snuggling closer and burying her head in blonde hair. Cath laughed and repositioned herself so that she could wrap her arms around Sara's waist. In return she felt soft kisses being peppered along her collarbone. "Now, now Miss Sidle, if we start that again we'll be late for work and I know you'd never do that." She whispered, trying to stamp down on the feelings stirring inside her.

"Don't care." Came the mumbled reply making Cath laugh again.

"Well, I do. Now come on, get you're cute butt out of my bed and get dressed." She patted Sara's hip lightly and sat up, eliciting a disgruntled groan from the brunette. "You're grumpy when you wake up." Cath chuckled as the younger girl curled herself into a ball, still grumbling incoherently.

"I'm not a morning person." Cath leaned down to Sara's face, which was half covered by the blanket and her unruly curls.

"Well in that case it's a good thing its 7 in the evening. Now shift it." She placed a soft kiss in her hair then whipped the blanket back, educing an irritated growl.

**x x x x**

**Thought I'd be kind and give you another chapter before I go to bed. Let me know what you think x**


	7. A Perfect Family?

**Good Morning! New Chapters :) I know we are all here for Cath/Sara but this chapter was necessary to show the contrast between the two relationships. I promise you'll like the next 2! **

**x x x x**

**Chapter 7: A Perfect Family?**

"Mommy, mommy! Look what Uncle Gil brought me" The seven year old bounced into the kitchen holding up a jar with what appeared to be half a tree's worth of leaves. "It's a capertiller" she beamed. Catherine laughed and patted her daughter's head softly.

"Very nice sweetie. Put the caterpillar outside and go wash up for dinner." Lindsey placed the jar carefully outside the backdoor and ran upstairs. Cath went back to slicing tomatoes until she felt two arms wrap around her and hot breath on her neck.

"I would have brought you a _capertiller _too but only one wanted to get into the jar." He whispered, placing a kiss on her neck.

"Oh well, never mind." She sighed, "I guess you'll just have to make it up to me another way." She threw a sexy smile over her shoulder and leant in to kiss him, pulling back when Lindsey bounded in and held up her now clean hands proudly.

X x x

After dinner Cath went to tidy up but Grissom stopped her. "Let me Cathy." She smiled at his nickname for her and instead went to help Lindsey with her homework. Once done washing up Grissom walked into the living room and observed mother and daughter working together with a satisfied smile. Once the work was done he suggested watching a movie, child suitable of course, and they settled down on the couch for a night of The Little Mermaid. Grissom didn't really follow the plot and did not understand why the crab was French but he was sat with his woman's legs stretched across his lap and a beautiful little girl curled into his side. What more could a man want on a Thursday evening?

X x x

Later on Grissom and Cath were still sat on the couch with Lindsey curled up in-between them fast asleep. Grissom gently lifted the little girl and carried her upstairs, where Cath tucked her in and kissed her forehead. Closing the door quietly Grissom took a hold of Catherine's hand and tugged towards her bedroom. "Shall I make it up to you now?" He asked, offering her a sly smile. Giggling she let him lead her into her bedroom, kicking the door closed behind her.


	8. Fine Wine and an Indecent Request

**Chapter 8: Fine Wine And An Indecent Request**

A fling? That was what she had said right, nothing serious. But then why was she falling more and more for this girl every day? These were the questions currently running through the blonde's mind as she aimlessly wandered around her girlfriend's apartment with a glass of wine in her hand. Despite them now having dated for a fortnight Catherine hadn't had a chance to investigate Sara's home yet. She traced the books lining her shelves. Inspected the CD collection. Brushed her fingers across the strings of the acoustic guitar propped up in its stand. "Do you play?" She asked, turning to Sara briefly.

"Yeah, I never had any formal lessons, just kinda taught myself."

Cath nodded and turned back to look at the glass shelves; there were photos, some of the grave shift, some family pictures, others looked like professional shots of San Francisco, Las Vegas, Massachusetts. She noticed a leather-bound book, which had been pushed under the corner chair and picked it up, sitting down to leaf through it. Opening it to the first page she found it was a sketchbook and the first drawing was a large manor house, followed by a few drawings of a woman and a little boy. "Are these yours?" Sara glanced across and nodded when she saw what Catherine had. "They're amazing. Truly Sara, these are incredible." Sara blushed and mumbled a shy thank you.

"The house is my grandmother's; it's where I lived for a while. The woman is my sister and the boy's her son."

Cath continued to flick through them until one particular page caught her attention. A stunning woman was laid naked on a bed, looking straight out of the page. "Oh wow" Catherine gasped. Sara moved to sit on the arm of the chair and lean over her shoulder.

"Oh, yeah that." She laughed nervously. "She was my girlfriend. She wanted to be a model and asked me to draw her for her portfolio." Cath continued to flick through, finding more drawings of the same girl.

"Sara, you have a real talent for this. How come we never knew about it?"

"Never came up I guess. It's a private hobby."

"There's quite a mix here, do you prefer drawing landscape or people?"

"Hmm, guess it depends on who I'm drawing. I love drawing people if I have the right inspiration." Sara seemed miles away as she answered, leafing through the book over Cath's shoulder. Catherine watched her thoughtfully.

"Would you draw me?" she looked up at Sara under her eyelashes.

"Sure, if you like." Sara answered absent-mindedly still looking through the pages but Cath put a hand on hers, getting her attention. She turned back to the naked girl, tapping it softly.

"Would you draw me like this?"

**x x x x**

**Chapter 9 should be up tonight. (P.S the idea for chapters 8 & 9 is from Titanic, which obviously I do not own, am just borrowing!) Please review :)**


	9. Perfection On The Page

**I promised another chapter and I always keep my promises so **_**Voilà! **_**Thank you again for the reviews, hope you like this chapter x**

**x x x x**

**Chapter 9: Perfection On The Page**

"Are you sure?" Catherine nodded, smiling seductively. "Now?" She nodded again.

Sara took hold of her wrist lightly and pulled her into the bedroom, where she began arranging some decorative pillows on a small couch in the corner. She closed the curtains and turned a lamp on, bathing the room in a gentle glow. Then she took Catherine's hand and sat her on the couch, knelt down in front of her and rested a hand on her knee. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" Catherine smiled and leant forward, kissing her sweetly.

"I'm sure." Sara smiled and left the room, retuning with her sketchbook.

"You need to …um…" Cath grinned at Sara's adorable mumbling. She unclipped her blonde curls, shaking them out, then removed her heels and pantyhose. She turned around and allowed the brunette to unzip her dress, slipping it off. She turned back to Sara, who was sat on the bed looking thoughtfully at the couch. Catherine removed her bra and panties, leaving her completely naked and feeling ever so slightly self-conscious. She sat on the couch and Sara flicked her eyes back to her.

"Ok, so where do you want me?" Catherine asked. Sara told her to lie down however she felt comfortable before retrieving a necklace from her jewellery box and fastening it around Catherine's neck. Despite the fact that they had slept together several times, Catherine's breath hitched at having Sara so close, especially when her girlfriend ran her hands through her blonde hair, draping it over her shoulders. Satisfied, Sara placed a kiss on Catherine's forehead and sat Indian style on the bed.

"Comfortable?" she asked.

"Very." Cath replied seductively.

X x x

She watched Sara draw her, studying her intently. How her brow creased in a slight frown and she chewed the inside of her cheek as she concentrated. Catherine noted how Sara's features were soft, how her hair framed her face perfectly. How her eyes appeared almost black in the low light.

The young brunette looked so serious, so focussed on her work. Catherine felt an incredible buzz at being so revealed and at being the centre of Sara's attention, but she also felt a little uneasy under Sara's gaze. She had thought that, having been a stripper in the past she could handle taking her clothes off in front of her girlfriend who had seen her naked before, but she had underestimated the feeling of exposure it could cause. The silence was killing her too. "Why Miss Sidle, I do believe you're blushing." She smirked, as Sara's cheeks reddened even more. "You know you're starting to make me feel something I haven't in a long time."

"Yeah, what's that?"

"Self-conscious." Sara's dark eyes flicked up and met hers briefly, before returning to the page.

"Don't be. You're beautiful." Simple words but the effect they had on Catherine was intense. She felt her cheeks burning and the butterflies in her stomach sprung into life. Sara must have noticed because a cocky little smile appeared on her face but she said nothing.

X x x

A while later Sara announced that she was done and handed Cath a robe, which she gladly donned. The blonde walked over to see it but Sara hid it from view, telling her she needed to perfect it. Catherine rolled her eyes and muttered a comment about artists.

Sara had left the room to give her some privacy and when Catherine entered the lounge, still only wearing Sara's bathrobe (she had figured getting dressed would be a pointless waste of time) she found Sara sat on a chair staring intently at her newest masterpiece. Cath sauntered over and leant over the back of the chair, draping her hands across Sara's shoulders. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw it.

"Well?" Sara sounded apprehensive. Cath placed a kiss into her hair and whispered,

"It's perfect."

"I only draw what I see." Sara smiled up at her. Cath kissed her hard, sucking on her bottom lip. Taking her hand Catherine led Sara back into the bedroom, where they tumbled over the edge together before curling up in each other's arms.

X x x

Catherine awoke to the feel of silk on bare skin and the intoxicating sweet scent of her Sara. Smooth skin pressed against her own; their legs intertwined and soft hands slowly stroking her back. She nuzzled her face into her companion's neck and kissed the soft skin.

She knew this was wrong, but why did it feel so right?

**x x x x**

**Well? Let me know your thoughts x**


	10. An Imperfect Family and a Perfect Affair

**Disclaimer: The nicknames are mine, that's about it. **

**Had a couple of requests for more Lindsey and more smut so I hope this is ok. Enjoy x**

**x x x x**

**Chapter 10: An Imperfect Family And A Perfect Affair**

"Huh?" She asked eloquently.

"I asked if you're okay?" Grissom repeated, eyeing her carefully. "You seem very quiet lately."

"I'm fine; really I'm just tired I guess."

"You should get some more sleep." he commented returning his eyes to his crossword. They were sat opposite each other at the breakfast bar in his townhouse. Catherine couldn't help but notice this change in their behaviour. When they first started dating they would sit next to each other, or she'd even sit on his lap. They would talk about anything. Now they were sat on opposite sides of the bar, he was embroiled in his paper and she was dreaming of being swept of her feet by someone tall dark and gorgeous.

It had barely been 6 months and they were practically married!

"You're right, I might just go back to bed for a while." She stood up, unable to stand the oppressive silence anymore.

"You want me to come with you?" He asked without making any effort to move. They both already knew the answer.

X x x

"Are you okay?" Catherine felt Sara's vocal chords vibrate beneath her lips.

"What?" She asked between sucking on Sara's pulse point as she positioned a thigh between the brunette's legs.

"You just seem…distracted." Cath sat back on Sara's stomach and looked into her deep eyes, knowing she wasn't going to get a reaction until she answered.

"I'm fine honey; I've just been tired lately." Being a working single mother hiding two secret relationships was no easy feat.

"You should take better care of yourself." Cath couldn't bear having Sara so worried about her so she tried to lighten the subject.

"Hmm, or maybe someone else could take care of me?" she ran her hand up Sara's torso lightly. "Like maybe my incredibly gorgeous girlfriend?" she bent down to nip Sara's neck.

"Ah, flattery. Good move…Katie." Cath stopped her ministrations and raised her eyes slowly.

"Katie?" No one had called her that since…

"It was in your yearbook." Sara explained.

"Aha, and what were you doing in my yearbook?" She teased, nibbling on Sara's ear.

"Looking for dirt on you. You never told me that you dated the captain of the football team, very OC." Sara joked.

"That's in there? Oh God!" Cath groaned. "What else did you find in there?" Sara just raised her eyebrows and offered a feral grin. Cat rolled off Sara and curled into her side groaning again.

"So, can I call you Katie?" She asked sweetly. Cath laughed.

"Baby you can call me anything you like as long as I get what I want in return." She made her point by nuzzling the side of Sara's breast, which Sara had learnt meant she wanted some attention. "Bella." She added quietly. At Sara's raised eyebrows she elaborated. "You're not the only one who can dig up dirt. I found an old birthday card from your grandmother…my Sweet Bella." She pressed a kiss to a surprised Sara's lips before resuming her position atop the brunette. "Now, where was I?"

She began grinding her hips slowly against Sara's and continued nipping and kissing her girlfriend's neck, moving her lips down to her chest, her breasts, her stomach. Sara ran her hands through Catherine's golden hair, while emitting small moans and whimpers. Catherine slipped two fingers inside Sara while teasing her gently with her tongue. It was not long before she felt Sara melt under her and the sight was enough to push Catherine over the edge herself. Crawling back up the bed she curled into Sara's side and wrapped her arms tightly around her girl. "Goodnight Bella" she whispered, placing a kiss into the brunette curls.

X x x

"Mommy?" Catherine looked up from her book to see her daughter stood in the doorway of her bedroom.

"What's wrong Linds?" The little blonde moved further into the room.

"Mommy, are you ok?" Catherine was surprised by the question.

"Of course I'm ok sweetie, why wouldn't I be?" Lindsey shrugged.

"You're tired." She stated. Cath was struck by a pang of guilt. She had tried to hide her problem from Lindsey but apparently not well enough.

"Oh honey, come here." She held out her arms and Lindsey scuttled over and ran into them. Cath lifted the little girl onto the bed and held her close to her chest. "I'm fine really. I've just been working really hard lately." The girl seemed to accept this explanation and changed subjects.

"When's Sara coming over again?" she asked eagerly, looking at her mother with bright blue eyes.

"Hmm, I don't know baby, why? Do you like having her over?"

"Yeah, she helps me with my homework, and she makes maths easy, not like Uncle Gil." She pulled a face that made Catherine laugh. Gil was a great mentor but not so good at making his explanations child-friendly. Sara, on the other hand, had hit it off with Lindsey right away, something which had surprised Catherine. The enigmatic brunette was better with kids than she let on. "Do you think she'll let me ride her motorbike one day?" Cath laughed again.

"Ha I don't think so little miss!" Sara's bike had been the topic of many disagreements. Catherine thought it was too dangerous and was convinced that Sara was going to get hurt one day. Despite that, the sight of Sara donned in leather still made her melt in an instant, a fact that Sara abused to no end. Cath pushed the thoughts of that out of her mind and focused on her little girl. "How about we put on a movie?" Lindsey smiled and nodded before bouncing downstairs. Cath tossed her book aside and followed, but not before sneaking a glance at the photo on her dresser. Or more specifically her brown-eyed beauty in the centre of the team.

**x x x x**

**Good, bad, terrible? Let me know what you think. New chapter tomorrow :)**


	11. Wise Words From Warrick

**Hello my friends :) Thank you for the reviews! **

**quietmusician: thank you for the suggestion i may implement that somehow :)**

**x x x x**

**Chapter 11: Wise Words From Warrick**

Catherine had spent the better part of the night hiding in her office. Luckily for her it was a quiet night so she had to occupy herself with paperwork, which on this rare occasion was fine by her. She had been with Grissom for 7 months and had concurrently been dating Sara for around 2 months.

She was tired. She barely slept and when she did it was only for a few hours at a time. Grissom had stopped asking her what was wrong; he knew that he wasn't going to get an answer. Sara, on the other hand, was getting more and more worried and was keeping a close eye on her girlfriend. She had caught Catherine taking sleeping tablets the other day and that had only made her more certain that something was wrong.

X x x

"_Cath? What are you doing?" Cath jumped and spun around to see Sara hovering in the bathroom doorway eyeing her suspiciously. _

"_Nothing, just had a headache." She lied, trying to surreptitiously slide the tub of pills behind her back. It didn't work. Sara stepped forward and reached around her to grab the little pot. _

"_Zolpidem._ _These are sleeping pills." She stated, examining it. Catherine looked at the floor, caught out, until Sara gently lifted her face to look into her sad blue eyes. "Katie, honey talk to me. Why are you taking these?" _

"_I've just been really tired lately, you know with work and everything. Maybe more tired than I let on." Sara's soft brown eyes searched hers for the truth before she wrapped her arms around Catherine. _

"_I'm sorry babe, I should've noticed that you weren't coping. I should've helped you."_

"_No, no darling, it's not your fault. I guess you're right I haven't been taking care of myself." Sara nodded and picked up the tablets again. _

"_Well next time tell me okay, and I'll help you. Trust me, when you start on these there's no easy way off them." She dropped them into the trash before taking Catherine's hand and tugging her into the bedroom._

X x x

Since then Sara had been watching her very closely and asking her if she was okay regularly. At least that little episode had made Catherine realise what she was doing to herself and pay more attention to her health. After all, Sara was right: once you jump onto the Zolpidem train there's no jumping off. And Catherine knew from past experience that she of all people could become easily addicted. After that she changed her habits in order to take better care of herself.

She now had a routine. When she was spending the day with Gil, something that was becoming an infrequent occasion, she would tell Sara that she was running errands. When she was with Sara she would tell Gil that she was hanging with 'the girls'. Lindsey was spending more time with Nancy now and though that made Catherine feel so bad, it was her only way of preventing Lindsey from getting too attached to Gil and Sara, and also to stop her from saying something to one of them. Grissom never questioned her excuses or lies, even though she knew that he knew she was being unfaithful. When they were together, having dinner or in bed she was always distant, like her mind was elsewhere. Perhaps focussing on a certain young brunette who was being the most doting lover Catherine had ever dated. All ideas of this being just a fling were fast disappearing out the window as she found herself falling harder and faster for the girl. Who knew that the cold, defensive workaholic could be so affectionate and warm once you broke down those walls? And that's what hurt even more; Sara had started to trust and confide in Catherine. She had told her some of her deepest secrets, under the false pretences of a monogamous relationship. Catherine could feel her life slipping further out of her control and knew that her only options to stop it were to break her best friend's heart or to hurt a sweet vulnerable girl who she was scared to admit she may be falling in love with.

And there lay another problem. By admitting that she loved Sara, she was going to have to face the fact that she was attracted to women and that was something that she did not know if she could do. Her reputation meant a lot to her, what would happen to it when word got out that she was gay (or bi at least, although she was not so sure anymore more)? What would her friends and family think?

X x x

The blonde CSI had her head on her folded arms on her desk and was trying to organise these jumbled thoughts when she heard a knock at the door. "Sod off!" She yelled, a little too harshly. Either way it didn't work because she heard the door open and Warrick poked his head in.

"You alright Cath?" She lifted her head wearily and offered a weak smile.

"Yeah I…no not really." She couldn't lie to another person. He perched on the edge of her desk and waited for her to continue. "I'm a terrible person."

"No you're not, you're…"

"Yes I am." She cut him off. "I'm a terrible, terrible person." He didn't say anything so she carried on. "I've being seeing this guy for a few months and I really care about him. But lately I've also started seeing this…someone else. It was just something I couldn't get out them of my head and it was only ever supposed to be a fling but I think I'm falling for them 'Rick. Problem is I love them both dearly and either way one of them is gonna get hurt."

"Ok," he breathed slowly. "Forget about their feelings for a minute. Which one makes you happy?"

She had to think about that. "Well, the first guy is…safe. I know that he'll always be there for Lindsey and me; he'll never take chances with me or let me down. But the second one, s…they're sweet and romantic and…dangerous. They have this mysterious side that I can't help but be drawn to. And they would never hurt me; they really care about Lindsey and me. I don't know 'Rick!" She whined, dropping her head back onto her arms.

"Well Catherine, safe is fine, there's nothing wrong with safe but all I can say is don't settle if your heart's not there." He patted her back lightly before departing, without saying why he came in the first place.


	12. Caught In The Act

**Chapter 12: Caught In The Act**

Warrick's words had given her food for thought, but in the long run hadn't helped much. Two weeks later she was still in a bind and becoming more and more scared of her feelings for Sara every day.

"Hmmm, what are you doing?" She mumbled sleepily as the velvet tongue trailed a torturously slow path across her shoulder and up her neck to gently suck on her earlobe.

"What does it feel like I'm doing?" the husky voice sent shivers up her spine. She rolled onto her back and immediately lost herself in dark eyes.

"It feels like you're driving me crazy."

"Me?" Sara smiled that sweet smile, but there was a playful sparkle in her eyes. Catherine rolled over sharply, pinning Sara beneath her.

"Don't give me that innocent look madam, I know your game." She kissed her slowly, deeply, enjoying the feeling it stirred within her.

Suddenly the bedroom door swung open and a deep voice made Cath jump back in surprise.

"Cathy, I thought I'd…" he trailed off when he saw his girlfriend scrambling to cover herself.

"Gil, I…" what could she say? There were no words. Grissom looked between them both before turning and walking out without a word. "Gil wait!" She called after him, climbing out of bed and pulling on her robe.

"Katie? What's going on? Why's Grissom here?" The confusion in Sara's voice broke her heart ... but one problem at a time.

"I'm sorry. I'll explain everything in a minute, just stay here okay?" She placed a quick kiss on Sara's lips before following Grissom downstairs.

"Gil! Gil, please wait, just let me explain." She caught him as at the front door.

"Explain what Catherine? I'm not totally socially inept that I can't figure this out." She expected him to be angry but he just sounded disappointed. She sighed.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to be like this." He nodded meekly and left without a word. When Catherine turned around her heart hit the floor. Sara was dressed and sat half way down the stairs with unshed tears glistening in her eyes.

"Why?" she whimpered softly.

"Sara baby I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, either of you." she crept up the stairs and knelt in front of Sara, placing a hand on her arm which was promptly shaken off. "Bella please, just let me explain…"

"Don't call me that." She stood up and ran down the stairs, straight to the front door, with the blonde not far behind. Cath grabbed her arm and held her strong, looking up at her with tears streaming freely from her eyes.

"Please Sara don't go. I can explain."

"It's too late Catherine. Its over" That was all it took for something in Cath to break and all self-control went out of the window.

"No! Please don't do this! I Promise I can fix it, just please don't leave me!" she wailed, clinging onto Sara with all the strength she had. The brunette pulled herself free and slipped out, leaving Catherine alone and broken. "But I love you." She whispered sadly to the empty space her lover had left.

**x x x x **

**I did warn you there would be angst! Next few chapters are a tad depressing but I promise that this is a Cath/Sara fic in the end :) Have faith in me and please leave a review, they make my day!**


	13. Backlash

**Chapter 13: Backlash**

When Lindsey came home from school that afternoon, dropped off by Nancy, the little girl found her mother crying on her bed; just like the night Eddie died. "Mommy?" She asked as she tiptoed into the room. Catherine sat up and hurriedly wiped away her tears, an effort in futility.

"Hi baby, did you have a good day?" she was not going to break down in front of her daughter.

"Mommy why are you crying?" The 7 year old climbed onto the bed and cuddled against Catherine.

"Oh it's nothing for you to worry about. Mommy just did something really bad and it's made some people she cares about very upset." Lindsey scrunched up her nose, not understanding but Cath assured her it was okay, despite the fact it was anything but. "Why don't you go start your homework okay, I'll be there in a little while to help." The mini blonde scampered off, leaving Cath alone in her thoughts. Or so she thought.

"So, you gonna tell me the truth?" She spun around to find her sister staring at her with a raised eyebrow. Busted.

X x x

"Oh Catherine!" Nancy knew that her big sister was hiding something, but an affair had not even crossed her mind.

"Please spare me the lecture, I can manage that myself thank you." Cath had her face buried in her hands with a cup of cold coffee in front of her.

"3 months! They must be heartbroken! How could you do that, to your own friends no less? After everything with Eddie, I never thought…"

"Thank you Nancy!" She had not expected sympathy or even understanding but her sister's less-than-helpful comments were doing nothing whatsoever to ease her guilt. "I just didn't know what to do, I couldn't hurt Gil but I couldn't end it with Sara. And I was scared to admit it but…I love her Nancy. More than I ever thought I could. This was never supposed to happen. It was just supposed to be a fling, I never in a million years thought I'd actually end up falling for the girl" Nancy's features softened a little.

"Well you're going to have to deal with it now. So what next?" She reached out and laid a hand over her sister's. Catherine shrugged.

"I've been calling Sara all day, she won't answer me." She moped desolately.

"Well I don't blame her. She's probably upset; just give her some space and she'll calm down." Their conversation was cut short by the noisy pattering of little feet.

"Mommy, Jeremy's cheating!"

"I was not!" Catherine turned away and tried to discreetly wipe away her tears again.

"You two play fair okay." Nancy interjected, saving her sister from having to answer.

"Is Sara coming over today? She promised me she'd help with my science project!" The little girl asked chirpily.

"I don't think so baby." Catherine smiled gently, trying to keep it together in front of the children but Nancy could see that it was a losing battle so ushered the children back into the living room.

"C'mon kids, back to the playstation. Winner takes on me!" With the kitchen to herself Catherine dropped her head onto the table miserably.

X x x

Later on, after Nancy and Jeremy had gone home, taking Lindsey with them, Catherine was sat on her couch staring at the phone when a noise interrupted her thoughts. Sitting bolt upright she listened closely as the roar got closer, stopping outside her house. She ran to the front door and threw it open in time to see Sara climbing off of her bike. She came back! Catherine's joy was short lived as the brunette stalked into the house past her with a bag slung over one shoulder. "I just came to get my stuff." Cath followed her upstairs and watched nervously as the younger woman tossed her clothes into the backpack.

"Sara you don't have to do this. We can still work this out, I promise we can! Please just listen to me for a minute." She begged to no avail. She was not going to let her girl go without a fight so everything Sara tossed in the bag Catherine took back out and placed on the bed, while still pleading with her to stay. Eventually Sara had enough and grabbed most of what was now piled up on the bed, hurled it into the bag and stalked downstairs, ignoring Catherine's pleas.

"Catherine there is nothing you could say that would make this better. You cheated on me! Anything you say I'll have heard before. I have to go. Give my love to Lindsey, ok?" She was nearly out of the door when Catherine grabbed the bag, halting the brunette's movements.

"I'll leave the light on. In case you come back." She whispered. Cath thought she saw Sara nod a little – it was small but it was there – before disappearing into the darkness. Catherine stayed there, on the doorstep in the dark, until she saw the light from the motorbike fade out. Until there was nothing but darkness left.

X x x

Catherine loved her job but on occasion she would give anything to not have to go into work. This was one of those occasions. Although she was dying to see Sara again, she did not want to have to face Gil.

When she got to the break room Grissom was not there yet. Thankful for that small mercy Catherine helped herself to a cup of coffee and sat down at the table opposite Sara who was avoiding her gaze. When the entomologist did eventually appear he looked tired and dishevelled, as if he had slept in his clothes, although Cath suspected he hadn't slept at all.

"Yo, Grissom man you look rough. You okay?" Warrick asked, putting down the playstation controller and standing up to receive an assignment. Grissom just nodded and held out a manila folder to him.

"Warrick you're with me. Nick, you and Sara have a decomp in the desert." He said, holding out another folder to Nick. Everyone except the girls missed the venom in his voice when he said Sara's name but the young CSI said nothing, just followed the Texan out. "That's it." He snapped before walking out, leaving Catherine alone once again.


	14. A Life Alone

**Chapter 14: A Life Alone **

Grissom had barely slept. He hadn't eaten and his head was pounding. He had known that Catherine had been having an affair for a while now. He had even suspected that it could be someone from work, perhaps a police officer or lab tech. He had not expected to find Sara Sidle, his Sara, in bed with his girlfriend. He could imagine the two of them laughing about it, about how much of a fool he was. Sara had to have known, after all she was an investigator and they worked together. If she hadn't known about him and Cath than why wouldn't she have mentioned their relationship to the boys?

It had been a long, hard shift and for once he just wanted to get home. Throwing his jacket onto a chair he flopped ungracefully onto the couch. He couldn't go to bed, his bed. Their bed. Instead he kicked off his shoes and resigned himself to another night alone on the couch. Hank, his great lumbering boxer, ambled over and sat next to him. Grissom scratched the dog behind his ear before falling asleep uncomfortably on the couch.

X x x

Sara tossed her keys in the bowl by her door and dropped her bag and jacket on the kitchen counter. There was a familiar frantic scratching as a brown furball scuttled towards her. She dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around her, burying her face in the soft fur. "Hey Bronte, did you miss me?" She whispered to the mutt. She had found the puppy abandoned a year ago and taken her to the vet who told her that the tiny pup might get put down if no one came forward to claim her. Sara could not allow that and a few days later she found herself with a permanent housemate. She also made a good running mate, and a friend for Lindsey on the rare occasion she had been in Sara's apartment.

Standing back up she fed her dog before having a quick shower (with lemons of course) and climbing into bed. Bronte hopped up onto the blankets and snuggled up against her, offering her owner the comfort she needed right now.

X x x

Catherine picked up Lindsey from her sisters and dropped her off at school before driving home and collapsing onto the couch. What the hell would she do now? It was true what they said; you don't know what you've got until you lose it. After Lindsey, Sara was the best thing to happen to her and she blew it, all because she was too much of a coward to admit to Grissom what she had done. She deserved everything she got. She waited, hoping to hear the familiar roar of Sara's motorbike. Instead she heard nothing. Just empty, lonely silence.

After a while, although she couldn't tell you how long, she headed upstairs. She went into the bathroom and found the sleeping pills that Sara had thrown out (she had rescued them, just in case) and took two before she started to get changed. Rummaging through her drawers she found some of Sara's clothes which the brunette must have forgotten. Slipping on one of Sara's hoodies she climbed into bed, leaving both the porch light and the bedroom lamp on. She knew that it was a long shot but she had to cling onto that hope that Sara might come back. It was all she had left. With that thought in mind she fell asleep, nestled in the sweet scent of her Sara.


	15. Falling Apart

**Chapter 15: Falling Apart**

"Goodnight baby." She kissed Lindsey's forehead and stood to leave when a sleepy voice stopped her.

"Mommy, why hasn't Sara come back?" It had been three days and clearly the girl was not going to accept that Sara was merely 'busy' anymore. Catherine sat on the edge of the bed and tucked strands of blonde hair behind her daughter's ear.

"Because I did something that upset her, so she doesn't really want to see me right now." She didn't want to lie to Lindsey, lying was what had got her into this in the first place.

"Is she upset with me too?"

"No, no of course she's not baby. Sara loves you. She's just very hurt right now."

"When Jeremy upset me he drew me a picture to say sorry. Maybe you could draw Sara a picture then she won't be upset anymore." Catherine smiled at her little girl's innocent mind.

"I don't think that'll work somehow sweetie."

"You could give her flowers." Lindsey tried again hopeful.

"I'll give it some thought. Goodnight Linds." She kissed her again and was almost out of the door when she caught a final remark from the little blonde.

"She'll come back mommy, you're her princess and princesses always live happily ever after."

Slinking into her bedroom she sat on the bed despondently, Lindsey's final words reverberating in her mind. Would she come back? Would she live happily ever after?

She picked up the bottle of pills by her bed and popped two into her mouth before slipping Sara's hoody back on and curling up under the covers. With her lamp still illuminating the room she fell into the drug-induced blackness of sleep.

**x x x x **

**Comments? Requests? Flames? Next chapter the team will find out. May be up later today, or tomorrow morning x**


	16. The Truth Becomes Known

**A new day a new chapter :) Thank you again for the reviews. Hope you like x**

**x x x x**

**Chapter 16: The Truth Becomes Known**

It had been a week and Catherine's porch light was still on. Sara had become more withdrawn than ever around her co-workers and Catherine was just…sad. All the time. Grissom was angry and was not afraid to take it out on his CSIs. The boys were so confused.

X x x

Nick was currently semi-snoozing on the couch and Warrick was sat next to him filling out paperwork. Grissom cringed at the caffeine-flavoured mud when Sara shuffled in looking ever so slightly nervous.

"Hi, Grissom have you got a minute?" she asked quietly. He had barely spoken to her and she was fine with that but now she needed his approval. "Could we go to your office?"

"No." He replied flatly. She sighed and decided to bite the bullet. She hadn't really wanted to do this in front of the guys but what the hell.

"Okay. I'd like to take some time off. I know I've got some vacation time stored up, I thought I'd go visit a friend in Florida, she needs some help moving." It wasn't a complete lie; she was going to visit Calleigh in Miami.

"No." He turned to leave without an explanation but a now wide-awake Nick stopped him.

"Wow, wait what? Come on Grissom, it's not like we're run off our feet here and when has Sara ever asked for time off?"

"It's okay Nick, it doesn't matter." Sara tried to diffuse the situation but it was to no avail.

"No Sara, it's not okay. Grissom, you've been in a mood for days and you've been taking it out on us, especially the girls. What gives man?" It was not often Nick got angry but when he did it wasn't pretty.

"Yeah, you know you, Cath and Sara have all been kinda weird around each other lately. What's going on?" Warrick joined in. Catherine made the mistaken decision to enter at this point and regretted it immediately when she felt the tension in the air. Greg bounced in behind her, seemingly unaware of anything amiss.

"What's going on?" She repeated Warrick's question uncertainly, glancing around at the awaiting faces. Nick and Warrick were watching Gil expectantly while Sara was hovering by the coffee pot looking like a cornered animal.

"You know Catherine, why don't you tell them? Huh, why don't you explain _what's wrong_?" he snarled.

"Gil, can we…talk. In your office?" She asked, chancing a glance at Sara who looked about ready to do a runner. Catherine had known Gil a lot longer than the rest of the team and knew that he used to have quite a temper. Although it was pretty much under control now it still slipped out every now and then and when it did it wasn't pretty, she wanted to spare the others that sight.

"No, I think they have the right to know what's going on. After all we are a team right? Let's show them what kind of team we are."

"Please don't do this." The timid voice drew everyone's attention to Sara who was on the verge of either fleeing or crying. Greg placed a caring arm around Sara's shoulders, a worried look on his innocent young face.

"Why? Don't want to tarnish your good girl image? Don't want them to let them think you're anything less than Little Miss perfect?"

"Gil stop!" Cath almost yelled. "Look, you're angry and upset, I get that okay. But if you want to take it out on someone, take it out on me alright because Sara has done nothing wrong." Grissom scoffed and shook his head. The guys all looked thoroughly baffled by now. "I cheated okay, is that what you wanted them to hear? I'm a lying cheating whore!" She shouted as tears sprung to her eyes, not caring that half the lab probably heard that. "I cheated on Gil, I cheated on him with Sara." She lowered her voice, staring at the floor because she couldn't face the shock and disappointment on the boys' faces. "And she didn't know, she didn't know anything alright so do what you want to me but do not punish her for my actions. I've already hurt her enough." Silent tears were streaming down Catherine's face as she looked up to try and read Sara's expression. Before she could the young brunette ran from the room, followed closely by Greg who shot Catherine a dirty look on his way out. Cath buried her face in her hands, unable to look at the boys.

X x x

Greg eventually caught up with Sara in the locker room. "Jesus, you can run fast." He gasped, holding onto the doorframe for support. Sara had her back to him but he could clearly tell that she was crying. He stepped up to her and wrapped her in a friendly hug from behind.

"Why did she do it Greg? I would never have hurt her, why would she…" she couldn't finish the sentence before she broke down in tears, enclosed tightly in Greg's strong embrace.


	17. A Public Confession and a Private Vow

**Chapter 17: A Public Confession and A Private Vow**

"I'm sorry okay, what more do you want from me?" She was trying to keep her emotions in check and failing miserably. Nick and Warrick were shaking their heads, whether from bewilderment or disapproval she wasn't sure.

"I want to know why!" Grissom yelled back.

"I don't know! Okay, I can't tell you because I don't know."

"That's not good enough."

"Alright, you want to know why I didn't tell you? Because I didn't want to hurt you. I knew it would break your heart and I couldn't do that to you so I kept quiet and maybe that was the wrong decision but I can't do anything about it now." She knew that she had no right to shout but he was grating on her patience.

"Why Sara? Of all the people you could have had an affair with?" Cath could only shake her head but that wasn't enough for Gil. "Why Catherine? Huh, why did it have to be her of all people? Nick, Warrick, Greg, no you picked Sara. Why would you do that?" Maybe it was the venom in his voice; maybe it was the stress of the past few months. Maybe it was just guilt but something within her finally snapped.

"Because I love her!" She yelled, loud enough that she was sure China heard her. "I loved her, I still love her and I would do anything to get her back. I hate myself for doing this to her."

"Sara" Nick's voice got their attention and she followed his gaze over her shoulder to the door, where she caught a glimpse of the brunette disappearing down the hall. Without a second thought Catherine took off after her, leaving the guys to wallow in their mutual baffled expressions.

X x x

"Sara! Sara wait." Catherine called, running across the parking lot outside CSI HQ to catch up with her departing co-worker. "Please, just stop for a second." She caught hold of Sara's sleeve and spun her around, breathing heavily as she caught her breath back.

"What is it Catherine? What could you possible say to me?" Sara's voice was not harsh or upset; it was just neutral, which hurt Cath even more. It was the way Sara used to speak to her before they were together.

"I'm sorry." Sara rolled her eyes and made to leave but Cath stopped her. "I know that doesn't mean much but it's all I've got. I love you Sara, I love you so much and I can't imagine living without you. I need you." Even to her own ears she sounded desperate. Catherine Willows did not do desperate but right now she didn't care.

"I needed you too Cath. I needed to be able to trust you. It's too late now." With that the brunette prised her sleeve free from Catherine's grip and walked off sadly. Cath dropped to her knees in the middle of the parking lot, tears streaming from her ocean blue eyes. She felt two strong arms wrap around her and tried to fight them off but eventually gave up, exhaustion and distress breaking her down.

"She's gone Warrick." She sobbed into his chest. "She's gone."

**x x x x**

**Reviews please :)**


	18. A Friend In Need

**Chapter 18: A Friend In Need**

It had taken a while but Warrick had eventually got Catherine into his car and driven her home. She had not stopped crying since the parking lot.

Once inside her house Warrick was met by Lily, who'd being babysitting Lindsey for the night. Warrick explained briefly what had happened and left Catherine in the safe hands of her mother.

The blonde had coiled herself up on the couch and didn't even look up when Lily re-entered the lounge and placed a cup of coffee in front of her.

"Well this explains what was wrong with Lindsey today. Why didn't you tell me Catherine?" She asked, sitting next to her daughter.

"Why, so you could lecture me too?" Cath sniffled. Lily observed her for a minute before her voice softened.

"You really do love her don't you?" Cath nodded miserably. "Oh Catherine, you have got yourself into a mess haven't you." She nodded again. Clearly she wasn't going to get a verbal answer tonight so instead she led Catherine upstairs and sat her on the bed, hoping that she would take the hint and get some sleep. Lily checked on Lindsey who was still fast asleep, before making herself comfy on the couch. It was going to be a long night.

X x x

A few hours later she went back upstairs to check on them both and she found her daughter curled into an impossibly tight ball and though asleep now, it was clear that she had been crying. Lily sighed and tugged the blanket over her. "What have you done my girl?" She muttered quietly.

X x x

She tried to ignore it in the hope that it would go away. It didn't go away. If anything it got louder. Eventually she acknowledged that it wasn't going to stop and hauled herself out of her nest of blankets on the couch.

Swinging the door open she found two dark puppy dog eyes staring back at her. "Cute PJs." Greg wiggled his eyebrows mischievously with a cheeky grin.

"What do you want Greg?" despite how crap she felt she couldn't help smiling at the lab rat. He held up bags of what appeared to be Chinese food and a DVD.

"Thought you might want some company. I brought food." He sauntered past her and began helping himself to plates and cutlery while Sara made her couch somewhat more suitable for two people to sit on.

X x x

By the time the movie had finished Greg was lounging comfortably wile Sara was laid against him with her head on his shoulder and Bronte was stretched across the two of them. They sat like that for a while just talking until Greg shuffled out from under them and carried the plates through to the kitchen. When he turned around he noticed the suitcase for the first time. "You're going somewhere?" he asked innocently.

"Yeah, I thought I'd go see Calleigh, then maybe visit my brother in New York."

"How long will you be gone?" She couldn't bear to do this but he had to know.

"Greg, I'm not coming back." If you slowed this down you could actually pinpoint the second realisation dawned. Greg's boyish features fell and he looked like a kid who'd just lost his puppy.

"Why?"

"I can't stay here anymore. With Catherine and Grissom it's just…. It's too hard. I'm sorry."

"But, what about me? And Nick and Warrick. And me." He sounded so sad it broke her heart.

"Greggo, you'll always be my best friend. But I have to get away from here, away from…her." Greg put down the food he was still holding and walked over to wrap her in a bear hug.

"You can't go." He mumbled into her shoulder.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not gonna let go of you." She laughed softly, but the tears in her eyes were threatening to fall.


	19. One Last Chance

**Chapter 19: One Last Chance**

"Why did you do it?" Greg practically yelled in Catherine's face as soon as he entered the break room. "She loved you and you broke her heart, you hurt her and now she's going."

"What? Going where?" Cath asked as Nick and Warrick discarded their video game and moved towards them.

"She's leaving."

"Leaving?" Nick repeated slowly.

"Leaving the lab, leaving Vegas. Leaving us." Greg was starting to break down but anger was still seeping though his voice. "And it's your fault. If you hadn't hurt her…"

"That's enough Greggo." Nick said, placing a hand on Greg's arm figuring Cath didn't need this right now. However it didn't look like the blonde had heard it anyway.

"Leaving? She can't leave." She mumbled as she processed this information. Greg had calmed down a little by now so continued.

"Too late, she left a letter of resignation on Grissom's desk; she's getting a flight to Miami in about 40 minutes. She's gone." Before he had even finished Cath was at the door.

"Don't let Grissom see that letter!" She yelled, sprinting to her car.

X x x

She made it to McCarran in record time. Practically abandoning her car in front of the entrance she tore through the airport to the departure lounge when a message overhead caught her attention. "Now boarding, all passengers on flight 229 to Miami." Her heart leapt, this was her last chance.

X x x

"Sara!"

The brunette was about to hand over her tickets and passport when the voice startled her and she spun around. The last person she expected to see was stood a few feet behind her, looking like she'd just run a marathon. Stepping out of the queue Sara stood frozen while the older woman moved slowly over to her.

"You're leaving?" It was a cross between a statement and a question.

"Yeah, I had to get out of here." Her voice was level but her whole body was trembling. This was harder now.

"Why?"

"Why do you think Catherine?" Cath looked at the floor sadly.

"You don't have to go. I could change shifts, or …"

"It's too late. I'm sorry Catherine. I have to get away from here. Away from everything. From you." The last part was almost a whisper. Desolately Sara moved to the exit but Cath's voice halted her again.

"Sara wait." She turned around again and Catherine stepped right up to her "I know I have no right to ask you to stay for me, but please just do one thing for me okay?" She placed something in Sara's hand, folding her slender fingers around it. "Remember me." Tears rolled down her cheeks as she placed a soft kiss on Sara's lips. "Because I will never forget you." With nothing more to say she stepped back and watched, heartbroken, as the young woman showed her ticket and disappeared though the doors, her hand still closed in a tight fist. "Never."

X x x

Sara waited until the door clicked closed behind her before opening her hand. Sat in her palm was a tiny metal heart on a silver chain. She recognised it instantly: it was the necklace Catherine had been given on her sixteenth birthday by her mother.

She hadn't realised she was moving towards the plane until someone asked to see her ticket. She looked up at the stewardess wide-eyed, then back at the heart.

**x x x x**

**Will she go? Won't she go? Let me know what you thought x**


	20. Home Sweet Home

**Hey Hey, the chapter all have been waiting for :) Am not entirely sure where i am going to go with it after this, but there will be at least one more chapter (possibly more) and maybe a sequel. Any suggestions are welcome and once again thank you for the reviews. **

**x x x x**

**Chapter 20: Home Sweet Home**

Catherine sat on the floor of the departure lounge in tears for minutes, hours. She didn't know how long. At some point she picked herself up, went back to her car and drove herself home although she could not remember doing it.

By some miracle she made it home in one piece. She felt physically and emotionally exhausted and although the hysteric sobs had stopped a while ago, silent tears still crept down her cheeks. She knew that she should go back to work but she couldn't face it. Instead she took a sleeping pill, since she knew she could not get to sleep without it anymore, and crawled into bed, hoping that the heartbreaking pain would go away at least for a little while.

X x x

She wasn't sure how long she had slept, though she knew it wasn't long. A movement on the bed behind her awoke her from the drug-induced slumber. Turning to look over her shoulder she noticed someone sat quietly on the edge of her bed. Even in the darkness she recognised the silhouette instantly.

"Sara?" She whispered. The figure turned towards her.

"I turned off your porch light." She stated. Catherine sat up and reached out, lightly trailing her fingers down the girls face. She had to make sure that her eyes were not deceiving her.

"You came back?" Cath couldn't seem to find her voice.

"I could never forget you." The young brunette leant forward to catch Catherine's lips in a short sweet kiss and it was then that Cath noticed the tear tracks down the girls face. The older woman used the pad of her thumbs to wipe them away before kissing her softly again. "I love you." Sara whispered. It took Catherine a whole minute for this to sink in before she launched herself at Sara, wrapping her arms tightly around her neck.

"I love you too. Don't ever leave me, never ever again." Cath sobbed against Sara's shoulder, clutching her clothes. Sara held her and rocked her softly.

X x x

After a few minutes Catherine removed Sara's jacket and tugged her under the covers, where she nestled herself into the crook of her neck. She could not describe how good it felt to be back in Sara's arms again, to feel her hot breath against her face, to taste the skin of her neck beneath her lips. "Don't ever leave me Bella." She murmured, snuggling impossibly closer and falling into a natural sleep for the first time in what felt like forever.

X x x

Lindsey had awoken to a sound she had become accustomed to. Unsure of whether her ears were playing tricks on her she lay very still and listened. The front door opened and closed. She had heard her mother come home a little while ago so she knew it wasn't her and her grandmother wouldn't be going outside at this time. Quiet footsteps climbed the stairs and approached her bedroom. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe quietly as her door creaked open and someone tiptoed over. She recognised the sweet scent of the person who bent down and placed a kiss into her hair before leaving again. She had not imagined it. Sara had come home.

Climbing out of bed she crept down the hall and listened outside her mother's bedroom door to the hushed voices. Everything went quiet for a few minutes so she opened the door and was met with a sight that she had wanted to see all week. Sara and her mother were curled up together. Smiling to herself, the little girl clambered onto the bed and snuggled under the blankets between the two sleeping women.

**x x x x**

**:)**


	21. Happy Ever After

**Hi all! Well this is the last chapter; it just seemed like the right place to end it. Hope y'all enjoyed it and thanks you to everyone who read and reviewed! There may be a sequel, not sure yet. Will be starting another story very very soon, already have something in mind. Anyway, thank you again. Happy reading :)**

**x x x x**

**Chapter 21: Happy Ever After**

Catherine awoke to the sweetest feeling in the world. Her head was resting on the shoulder of someone who was running a gentle hand up and down her back and her baby girl was curled up against her chest, one tiny fist clasping her shirt. Sleepy blue eyes blinked open and watched her two favourite girls sleeping soundly in each other's arms. Two bright eyes looked up at her and she smiled.

"I told you she would come back Mommy. There's always a happy ever after." Catherine kissed her daughter's head and snuggled closer. This was what she had always dreamed of. This was her fairytale.

X x x

They exited the car and Catherine immediately grabbed Sara's hand as they walked towards the lab. Part of the reason she had been afraid to acknowledge her true feelings for Sara was because she was afraid of how it would be received by her colleagues but all of a sudden that seemed so insignificant. They could say what they liked, as long as she had her Sara by her side.

As soon as they entered they were hit by the feeling of being watched. Lab techs sprung up behind glass walls to stare as the two women stalked past hand in hand towards the break room. Greg was the first to notice them.

"Sara!" He pounced on her, wrapping her in a suffocating bear hug. "I told you that you couldn't leave!"

"C'mon Greggo let the girl breathe." Nick chuckled, moving in for a hug himself. "I can't believe you were gonna run out on us like that without so much as a goodbye." He didn't sound angry, just a little sad.

"Yeah, you know our lover boy here wouldn't sleep until he got a goodbye kiss." Warrick joked, nudging Nick playfully.

"Lover boy can keep his hands and his lips to himself." The voice spoke up from behind and they all turned to Catherine who was wearing a contented smile as she wrapped Sara in a hug from behind.

"Wait, wait. Does this mean our girls are back on?" Warrick asked, eyeing them up. Two happy nods were all it took for the boys to erupt in cheers and begin high-fiving each other. However their mini celebration was cut short by…

"This doesn't look like work…" Everyone spun around and Grissom eyed them all suspiciously from his spot in the doorway, before his eyes settled on Sara. "I thought you were leaving." His voice was void of emotion, which kind of hurt Sara.

"Changed my mind." She stated, leaning back into Catherine. It was then that Grissom noticed their closeness and the blonde's hands comfortably resting on Sara's hips. His demeanour changed instantly.

Catherine and Sara had briefly discussed how the team would take their news and they had not expected Grissom to take it well.

"Oh for God's sake! You cannot be serious?" They looked at him blankly. "After everything she did you still took her back! Why?"

"That's not your concern." Sara answered bluntly.

"And what happens when she hurts you again? Sara, she doesn't deserve you."

"I would never hurt Sara!" Catherine jumped in. Grissom just scoffed, which only riled the blonde more. "What? If you can't have her no one can is that it? I know what I did was wrong but I will never do anything to hurt her."

"It'll take more than a few kind words and promises to convince her Cath, she needs…"

"Stop. I know what I need Grissom." Sara turned in Catherine's arms and kissed her softly, to the awe of the males watching. She pulled back and turned to face Grissom again. "I love her. It doesn't matter what happened, I love her and I need her. I'm staying with her." The middle-aged man's features softened as he watched the girls, his girls, interact with each other.

"You really love each other?" The both nodded again.

"I'm sorry Gil; you were never supposed to get hurt." For the first time it seemed as if Grissom actually believed this and he nodded.

"Well then, I guess we should celebrate this. After work." He and Catherine exchanged a small subtle smile, a truce of sorts. "Oh, and I'll try to get you're resignation form back before Ecklie processes it."

The girls turned slightly pale at the thought until a cheeky little voice spoke up from the back of the room.

"You mean this form?" Greg waved the piece of paper proudly. "I swiped it from Ecklie's desk before he clocked in." Sara practically skipped over and threw her arms around his neck. Smiling at his people Grissom snuck out quietly, shooting Catherine another smile, telling her in his own way that in time things would be okay. Having calmed down a little Sara released Greg. "Ah, Greggo how can I thank you?"

Once again that cheeky smile appeared on the lab rat's face. "Kiss her again!"

**x x x x**

**A Happy Ending :) xxxx**


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